Experiencing the Love of God

This morning, as I opened a familiar social media page, a memory emerged from the depths of time. It was a blog post, written sixteen years ago, a piece that carried with it the weight of bittersweet emotions, yet wrapped in warmth and a quiet invitation. I lingered over the comments, some from women whose voices no longer echo on this Earth. I couldn't help but smile, imagining that they are now experiencing the love I spoke of in this article in its purest, most profound form. And so, I share this throwback from 2009 with you—may it bring as much light to your heart as it did to mine.

I used to think that I had to earn God’s love. That there was something inside of me so disgusting, so unloveable, I had to do something to make God love me. Admittedly, my thinking was fractured. How could I believe that anything I do could ever earn God’s favor? Without realizing it, with this belief came an unknowing assumption that I was on equal ground with God. If I could earn God’s love, then I must have been good enough, had power enough, had the authority to do something Jesus had to die to accomplish.

I went through cycles…I would wake up saying, “God, I’m going to be good today. You are going to be so proud of me.” Another day, I'd declare, “I will not get mad at crazy drivers on my commute to work.” Then, I found myself rolling down the window to scream, “You idiot!” to the person who cut me off. Or I'd do something that I know is a sin and afterwards, I’d say, “I will NEVER do that again. I promise, God. This is the last time.” The next day, I was committing the same sin and saying the same thing. All the while, I felt defeated, ugly, unworthy of anything good, a total failure.

I realized one day that I was putting God in my box again. I was again assuming… assuming God’s definition of love is the same as mine. I will love you if you do this, but my love will diminish if you do that. Those were my conditions, not His.

You see, God loves unconditionally. That means regardless of what I do, He will continue to love me. If I sin today, if I sin tomorrow or fifty years from now—which I will—His love for me endures. He knows me. He knows my weaknesses, failures, and downfalls, yet He still loves me. When I do good, He’s there ready to encourage me, to cheer me on, to be my rewarder.

Understanding how God loves me has given me such freedom. When I fall down, I reach out to God who is ALWAYS there wherever I am. I dust my knees off and try again. I ask for God’s strength and His power and through Him, I move forward.

Although I WILL fail, failure is one step closer to success. I only need to take that first step and keep my spiritual ear attuned to God's direction. Because, you know what?

I am loved.

Yes! I'm loved! He will never leave me when the chips are down. He won't ghost me when I do something stupid. He won't give up on me when I repeatedly do things I shouldn't. Let that soak in friends.

YOU ARE LOVED!

Rejoice today in His unlimited love.

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. Romans 3:23-24 (NLT)

The LORD is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. Psalm 103:8 (NLT)