Mixed Tales: True Stories and Fictional Accounts

I have always heard it suggested that writers should write what they know as it comes across as more authentic. I suppose that can be true, but I also believe that if you do your research and immerse yourself in the culture you're writing about, you can still achieve authenticity and great writing. Yet, in my novel, Picking Up the Pieces, a few scenes are very much true and personal stories.

The first "truth" story can be found in Chapters 6 through 9. Imagine living in a small town where everyone knows what happened and you become the latest juicy gossip. Going through sexual assault and the aftermath as an adult is agonizing, but as a fifteen-year-old, it felt impassable. Yet, I got through it. Oh, but for the grace of God!

For some, reading that portion of the book won't be easy. Maybe you have experienced something similar. And, let me tell you something. Sweetheart, I wrote it for you. I did not attempt to make it palatable for the reader but portrayed it as it was. Ugly, traumatic, and evil. It is an event that will take residence in your mind for the rest of your life. It will impact your relationships, your sexuality, and, generally, how you view yourself and how you view the world around you. It makes you suspicious and distrusting of others. For me, it changed my personality. Whereas I was outgoing and audacious before, I became socially awkward and held back on things I wanted to do because I feared interaction with people. That's what an experience like that produces in plentitude--fear.

For years, I carried shame about what happened, like there was something wrong with me that caused it. Like there was something inside of me that was broken and grotesque making me the target for bad things. So, I kept it to myself for a long time. Once I experienced some healing in that area of my life, I knew I wanted to help other women who have gone through something similar. I have attempted to do that in different ways, but writing about it is one way that I can do that on a grander scale.

The second truth is found in Chapter 38. In 2019, I hit a wall that I couldn't get past. My life was stuck in neutral, going nowhere. I had no prospects that would improve my situation, either. Feelings of worthlessness and questions about why I was even alive were my constant companions. I had been a Christian for many years by that time, yet it felt like my prayers were like emails being left in the inbox unread and I was at the end of my rope. It was my last attempt at getting some answers. I went on what I call a "God Retreat". Just me, God, and silence for two days, ending with a life coaching session.

The story of Jacob wrestling with God (Genesis 32:24-28) kept coming to memory as I felt like that was what I was on the retreat to do. However, I was scared that God wouldn't show up. That may sound ridiculous because God is everywhere, right? It wasn't ridiculous to me at that moment, though. I kept wondering if God was there, then why wasn't He talking to me?

I remember on the day I arrived at the cottage for the retreat, I shuffled up to the door feeling like I barely had the energy to step across the threshold. My spirit was dry and empty. I needed a lifeline.

God gave me what I needed in that tiny, stone cottage. There were no explosive, heaven-opening moments, just peaceful assurance that God heard me, He loves me, and He has plans for me. Above, you'll see a picture of the scene I woke up to after my first night at the cottage. God painted the perfect picture and I felt like it was just for me. If you want to know more about the experience, you'll just have to read Picking Up the Pieces ... and also the second book in the series which will tell you how things panned out. (Wink, wink.)

There are many other things in my novel that did not happen in real life. Whether parts of the story happened or not, what is emphatically true is my desire for what I wrote to help others who have struggled or are struggling with similar situations. I wanted readers to know that we have all screwed up and, even so, God still loves us and wants a relationship with us. I wanted to crack the shell of religiosity and talk about real life, not just the whitewashed version of it.

I'll finish this post with lyrics from a favorite song of mine. If you're reading my novel, you've come to know that as I write, songs mysteriously pop into my mind almost like themes. This post is no different. These lyrics come from a song called "Thank You" on Led Zeppelin's album Led Zeppelin II. To me, it portrays the perfect image of what is at the core of Picking Up the Pieces. Storms will come and storms will go, but our hand interlocked with the hand of Jesus gives ease to the journey. We are not alone.

And so, today my world it smiles

Your hand in mine, we walk the miles.

Thanks to you, it will be done

For you to me are the only one.